Sunday, August 17, 2008

First fear of discipline

Even Christian radio can adversely affect your peace of mind. Let me explain (please, finish the post before getting worried for lil' Shamus...there is a happy ending.)
We have friends who stopped listening to their Christian radio station b/c of the negative thoughts and ideas it conjured up in their minds . Well, I wasn't so convinced until this week. Shamus Jr. has started a new habit during some of his feedings. He'll pull off quite aggressively and thrust his head back, arching his body into a stiff position - sometimes accompanied by a shrilling scream and sometimes quietly with a few babbles just enjoying the position for a bit before wanting more to eat. After the episodes with shrilling screams, he'd sometimes want to feed more and others he'd finally be consoled with a new diaper or just going to sleep. I couldn't determine a set pattern so that I could understand what Shamus Jr. was trying to tell me he wanted. I remember telling Shamus Sr., should I allow him to act this way, and if so, are we teaching him it's okay to play during meal time.
Well, after a few days of this, I was convinced that my perfect little four month old was beginning to demonstrate a very strong-willed personality and throwing temper tantrums. I had reconciled too that he was tired of nursing and wanting more food - I felt like all kind of drastic measures were in order. Those thoughts worsened after hearing my favorite radio station interview a child psychologist who discussed kids with emotional disorders causing disruptive behavior. This sealed the deal for me. I was convinced that if at four months old Shamus Jr. could throw fits like this, then he was as described showing signs that somethings was neurologically wrong with him - such that an everyday event was causing him to react in a state of panic using his fight or flight responses - as eloquently described by the psychologist. So, there I was with my diagnosis - completely feeling guilty that I had caused it!
A few more days of this went on before we attended our church's night of worship and I spent some serious time in prayer asking God to heal Shamus, Jr. and give him a contented spirit. God was my last resort, my only hope - after all, I had tried everything it seemed.
Well, the very next evening when Shamus' fits happened two feeding in a row...I was devastated. I picked up the phone to call two Moms I trust...no one answered. I was about to go online and do a desparate Google search to find the solution. Well, thankfully, I continued to trust my Mom instict and trust that God would help me determine Shamus' want. And as always, God answers prayer! I started thinking about how Shamus would nurse for 45 minutes or more and how now, his nursing it's down to 10, 20 minutes max...maybe, just maybe he's wanting to suck and not feed. So, in the middle of his screaming, I put my knuckle in his mouth and suck he did!! I've never seen him suck so hard! So, I went and found his pacy (not handy, b/c he rarely takes a pacy - never seemed to like it)...and he didn't skip a beat sucking. He even used his hands to hold it in his mouth!! Well, I was wanting to see how much of a learning moment this could extend to and do you know, that our lil' man took hold of his pacy and stuck it right in his mouth!! It was so fun watching him perform his new trick....even with a few attempts of the pacy missing his mouth!

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